Everything about this makes me want to spit. So, Bono & the Edge are completely blameless; give a (critically acclaimed and award-winning) female director complete artistic freedom and she’ll totally FUCK THINGS UP beyond repair. Because when something goes wrong in a musical, it’s clearly about the direction alone. Who cares about the story, or oh, you know, the score? Sheesh.
Man, this is such a great idea — but the user interface of the timeline is horrible. As someone who grapples with this kind of thing every day, I feel some sympathy for the design team at the Guardian, but oh my! It’s so ugly!
Somewhere in this piece (I think) is a reason as to why, though I am an otherwise wonderful person in a good place spiritually, mentally, and physically, I am currently suffering from the worst case of unending access fatigue of all time.
Reproducing album covers in MS Paint isn’t exactly the world’s most original idea, but that doesn’t make it any less awesome. The good folks at Continuum’s 33 1/3 series tipped us off to this particularly extensive collection, the humble beginnings of which lie in message-board user contributions.
“Salem is the type of band who sleeps through their New York Times interview; and then gives answers so waffley and non-committal that I’m convinced they’re too stupid to function as humans let alone musicians. The infamous videos of them performing at the Fader Fort include the band doing what they do best—looking like a mix between nervous, aimless, and totally confused; poking and prodding at their gear like it’s going to bite them; fetching cigarettes in the middle of a song; and somehow making their “breakout star” a white person who can stand in front of a room of people and freestyle an atonal, arrhythmic Southern-rap minstrel show. I have no idea how these talentless fuckups sleep at night EVER, let along through Ben Ratliff’s phone calls. By the way, yes, they got booed by a bunch of people at the Fader Fort only there for free jeans and bragging rights. Good work indie rock. Your tireless persecution complex about not being invited to the cool parties in high school is now making underground music a parade of people too unemployable for the fashion industry!”—
Christopher Weingarten, saying what needs to be said about Salem, this year’s biggest insult to being a working, thinking musician.
Wanda Jackson, originally from Oklahoma City, started out in country music. “I was a little feisty on stage,” she says, and that led Elvis Presley, whom she’d been touring with (and also dating), to push her toward the new genre of rockabilly.
“Police were trying to talk the man, who appeared to be about 25 years old, from jumping from the 22-story Colony Square Hotel when Harris [T.I.] “appeared out of nowhere,” Polite said.”—
This is a good look for T.I. He appears out of thin air, negotiates with jumpers, and then disappears, presumably heading back to his gun cache. Hey Judge…give him a pass for this one, okay? He did his karmic duty. He appeared atop an Atlantan hotel to save a dude from potential suicide. You can’t throw T.I. in the hoosegow after this magical mystery intervention, can you?
As my friend David puts it in response to Wavves’ idiotic Alabama dissing, “Why must Southerners be judged solely by our hateful white people?” It’s a pretty good question. Listen, I’m a life-long Southerner. We have lots of problems with race and crazy conservatism and all sorts of wacky stuff down here. But we’re not all bad, and we’ve certainly contributed to the cultural legacy of this country (New Orleans, anyone?). And you can’t just use Alabama as a shorthand for racism when it exists all over the country (and the planet). There are rednecks everywhere, man. I thought I would put together a list for Wavves et al. that might disabuse him of the notion that we’re all racists (not hard, considering many people on this list are African-Americans!). I kept it solely to musicians, but I could have included Booker T. Washington and Helen Keller and many more. Here goes (in no particular order…off the top of my head w/ the help of Wikipedia):
Nat King Cole The Commodores/Lionel Richie The Louvin Brothers Emmylou Harris W.C. Handy The Muscles Shoals rhythm section Hank Williams, Sr. Clarence Carter Tammy Wynette Sam Phillips Martha Reeves Alabama (duh) Dinah Washington Percy Sledge Jerry Wexler Lionel Hampton Shelby Lynne Man…or Astroman? Wilson Pickett Sun Ra (I had no idea, actually) The Temptations (four members: Eddie Kendricks, Dennis Edwards, Paul Williams, and Melvin Franklin…I also had no idea about this!) Candi Staton Jimmy Buffett (!) BO BICE TAYLOR HICKS
I’m sure I’m leaving out tons of folks here. Anyway, I’ve got to stick up for my home state. We have a complicated and often depressing history filled with racial strife and struggle. The book hasn’t closed on racism, and I’ll be the first to admit. However, I ask that you judge us as much by these exemplars who have contributed so much (well, maybe not the last 2-3) to the musical fabric of this country (and others!). And if I started to bring the rest of the South in here…well, it’d almost be unfair. Heck, I’d take the Pepsi Challenge of Georgia or Mississippi up against almost any state. Actually, this might be pretty fun. Who wants to see a 50 states musical tournament?
“Racist flavor blunt for Mel Gibson. It would taste like Alabama.”—
From Wavves’ Twitter. It should come as no surprise that the most overrated artist of the last five years is also the least funny. He decided to start tweeting today about different flavored blunts or some such nonsense, and it was about as funny as a stoned 13 year old, which is to say not very.
And as an Alabamian, I can only say to the bros in Wavves: SCREW YOU. You’re a pathetic joke whose recent album was celebrated only because it wasn’t an abysmal failure, thus surprising a bunch of people who should know better anyway. Screw you.
Another gem: “And stop tweeting at me with pussy flavored blunts nobody wanna smell burning vag while they get high”